WELCOME TO BIFOCAL FRIDAYS

I recently started a new job in a formal business setting after 20 years of working in a very independent environment. I absolutely love my new gig, but it does require a pretty unwavering commitment to a solid 9-5 schedule every day, with a generous but very structured vacation policy. I miss some of the flexibility I had before, to take a day or an afternoon or a few hours off at the drop of a hat.

So imagine my delight a few months into the job when I learned that we keep “Summer Hours” for the months of June, July and August. That means Friday afternoons entirely off. I felt like a kid in a candy store as I considered the unexpected gift of this special time suddenly available to me.

It reminded me of one of my favorite childhood books, The Saturdays, by Elizabeth Enright, which I have read countless times. In 1940s New York City, the four fictional Melendy children lament that their weekly allowance of 50 cents each isn’t enough to do anything really good with. So they decide to pool their money, and one child will have it all each week in turn, to do something special for a Saturday adventure.

Ten year-old Randy gets to go first, because it was her idea. As she luxuriates in considering her options, she thinks she mustn’t waste a minute or a penny of it. “It was like a door opening into an enchanted country which nobody had ever seen before; all her own to do with as she liked.” This is how I felt about the idea of my Summer Hours. While mine wasn’t an issue of limited spending money, the idea of not wasting a single minute of it was paramount. So I made the decision to approach my Friday afternoons very intentionally, committed to making each one count in a unique and meaningful way, all summer long.

As the Melendy’s father said when he granted approval to their scheme, “See that you do something you really want; something you’ll always remember. Don’t waste your Saturdays on unimportant things.” I wouldn’t waste my precious Friday afternoons. I would do something wonderful (or at least notable) every week, and write about it here so I’d be accountable to the commitment and fully mindful of the adventure.

Of course not every Friday will pan out as some big amazing thing. Maybe one afternoon I will simply clean my house and revel in the fact that I have this lovely home with a new love who has given me a new lease on life in my 50s. Maybe one day I will simply weed the garden and think about life. But there’s plenty to be gotten from that as well.

“We lead a humdrum life when I think about it. It’s funny how it doesn’t seem humdrum,” said Randy Melendy over tea with an old family friend. Mrs. Oliphant replied, “That’s because you have ‘eyes the better to see with, my dear’ and ‘ears the better to hear with.’ Nobody who has them and uses them is likely to find life humdrum very often. Even when they have to use bifocal lenses, like me.”

Join me on my “Summer Hours: Bifocal Fridays” adventures. Maybe you’ll find something new to do with your special time, or just a new way of looking at things.

Friday #12: August 19, 2016

Learning to Let Go

Not-so-secret admission: I’m a bit of a control freak. Nowhere is this more evident than in the relationships closest to me. My friendly ex-husband came to my housewarming party recently, and when I dispatched him to the liquor store mid-festivities to grab another bottle of something, he joked as he went, “We’re not even married anymore and she’s still ordering me around.” That kind of thing doesn’t sit quite as well with my new partner, and because I recognize that it’s not a healthy tendency in its extreme, I’m continually working on reining it in more appropriately with him. (I guess the idea of “reining in” your controlling tendency is like a reverse-oxymoron or something, but that’s the metaphor that first came to me. Go figure.)

Anyway, it’s something I’m working on, and it’s been a good process, an important process for me, learning to be more flexible and go with the flow. There are still occasional flare-ups as we learn to live together in our new home – and in fact we had one this past week – but progress is ongoing and I’m slowly finding the freedom and peacefulness that letting go of control and cultivating flexibility can offer. Because of course nobody’s ever really in control of much, if anything, when it comes right down to it; and clinging too doggedly to that pursuit is an exercise in futility.

So I was pleased that this Bifocal Friday found me pleasantly going with the flow. I’d planned to enjoy another beach afternoon with my 14 year-old and his buddies and their moms, but the weather was bad. I thought maybe bowling instead, but if there’s one thing you really can’t control it’s the will of a bunch of a teenagers. The prevailing choice of the boys was to go trampolining at SkyZone and then see the Bourne movie by themselves, so off they went. There was a loose Plan B afoot for the moms to have lunch or happy hour later in the afternoon by ourselves, but that was a little slow to materialize and I didn’t mind the unscheduled time to putter around the house cleaning a bit and reading my book while the rain fell.

By 3:00 there were three of us mom friends who were ready to converge, and I drove over to Salut on Grand Avenue to meet them. The rain had lifted, and we were able to sit outside on the patio and enjoy each other’s company along with some good pomme frites and a pint. It was a great couple of hours of conversation, in which new and deeper layers of each other’s personal onions were revealed and discussed between us, taking these relatively new friendships to yet another level.

After lunch, I met Drew for a short round of golf that was cut even shorter by another round of rain. My drive was solid, although my short game peskier than ever, and overall I was slightly hindered by the fact that I’d forgotten my golf shoes and was wearing a pair of rubber sandals. But the whole thing was enjoyable while it lasted, and we got a rain check out of the deal so it was essentially a free round of golf.

Casting about for something else to do with our rainy evening, we grabbed my older son and the three of us headed out to the neighborhood movie theater to see “Florence Foster Jenkins,” which delighted us all. I don't often get to spend a Friday night with my almost 18-year old, so that was an added bonus. I have to admit, staying in the moment and letting go cheerfully of original plans led to a day of unexpected fun. 

Friday #11: August 12, 2016

My Ultimate Friday

The sport known as “Ultimate” was invented in 1969 by a group of students in New Jersey horsing around a parking lot. Today it’s one of the fastest growing field games anywhere, with thousands of high school, collegiate and club teams around the country and an estimated 7 million players around the world.

Played with a flying disc (Frisbee is the brand we all know and love, but competitors today simply call it a disc) the game is now played on a soccer-sized field with end zones similar to football. The disc passes from player to player; when you catch the disc you have to stop running immediately and can only pivot in place for 10 seconds before throwing it again. The goal is to score by catching a pass in the opponent’s end zone.

My 14 year-old Jack has been playing Ultimate competitively for just a year at school, but is completely hooked and recently stepped away from his previous dedication to soccer to pursue Ultimate at as high a level as he can. That included gaining a spot this summer on the team that would represent Minnesota in the national Youth Club Championship tournament this weekend. Eighty teams from around the country descended on our own National Sports Center in Blaine, the largest youth sports complex in North America, to flick their way to the top.

The competition started early Friday morning with 7:00am warmups, so I took the whole day off to be there with Jack. Ultimate is a non-stop action game that swivels between offense and defense, running and passing, speed and stillness, in the blink of an eye. It’s said to require a higher level of cardiovascular fitness than any other field game, and the drills these guys run through just to warm up for a match involve more exercise than most people get in an entire week. And then in a tournament like this, they played three 90-minute matches back to back the first day, and then for two more days after that.

It’s hard to imagine how they do it, but they sure have fun doing it and it’s a blast to watch. Lots of action, lots of fast scoring. This wasn’t the first tournament I’d attended, but it was the first one at this competitive level, and it was intense. It has been a real pleasure to watch Jack grow and develop in his athletic skills, driven only by his own personal goals and intensity. To watch him take his training so seriously, from regular practices and scrimmages to his own commitment to weight training and skill-building and running for fitness in his off-time, and even to considering the health of what he eats and drinks off the field.

It is also a pleasure to witness the softer side of the sport, known as “The Spirit of The Game” which  involves several unique components. For starters, the game is totally self-officiated – if you feel you need to call a foul against you, you do so, and then you have to work it out with the opposing player until you’re both in agreement one way or the other. The coach doesn’t get involved, and there isn’t a referee. It’s cool to see the players talking it out calmly, often giving each other the benefit of the doubt. And then after the game – sometimes during a timeout in the middle of the game – both sides join in a circle with their arms around each other, alternating players from each team, and have a little pep rally with each other. The winners give the losers a little token of their esteem – in our team’s case a “mini-soda” – recognizing players they thought performed exceptionally well or exhibited the best spirit. It’s a pretty wonderful thing to watch, and I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else this Friday but sitting in my folding chair cheering with the other parents at the sidelines.

Friday #10: August 5, 2016

If you are a woman and you’re reading this post, I predict that I can instantly and significantly lower your blood pressure by uttering three magic words: “Girlfriends cabin weekend.” Just thinking about one makes you smile and take a deep breath in and out, am I right?  


As one friend put it, “Health insurance should cover this.”

I’ve been lucky enough to have had dozens of girlfriends cabin weekends over the years, at different places, different times of year, and with different groups of women – some members practically unchanged for 25 years and counting, some overlapping and morphing together over the years, some falling by the wayside as friendships and circumstances shift over time. But always full of simple adventures and memories that sustain us for the days and years to come.

There was the one that started out with a bang when I hit a deer on the way up north in the late Wisconsin twilight. Fortunately (for the people part of the equation, at least) I was driving a friend’s impenetrably huge Olds 88 rather the little tin-can of a car I had at the time. No one has ever let one the other girls forget that she kept frantically repeating, “All we can do is call the DNA, just call the DNA!” “Umm, do mean the DNR?” somebody asked. “WHATEVER!” While everyone’s blood pressure was certainly on the rise just then, the rest of the weekend was relaxing enough to bring it down to a pre-deer-incident level.

And then there was the time somebody from the deep south showed up with a huge crate containing the entire contents of of their liquor cabinet and said sweetly, “I brought the cordials.” (That might have been the same weekend we did shots of Goldschlager and somebody kissed the girl next to her with a little more enthusiasm than we typically show for each other in that way.)

And the time we sat on giant rocks at the edge of a cold Ely lake eating chocolate cake with our hands and watching the northern lights put on a spectacular birthday show just for me.

The time somebody used up most of the freezer space with freshly-pumped breast milk.

The time I was on the Atkins diet and too weak to climb the stairs from the sauna back up to the house.

The time somebody got waaaaaay too emotional and spent the whole weekend sobbing uncontrollably, which instituted a strict “no-crying-on-girls-weekend” policy that has been strongly enforced to this day.

The time we first tried the incredible “Glacial Rain” treatment at the Aveda spa. And the time we did our own spa treatments and I was 8 months pregnant and made a gigantic mud mask with cucumber “eyes” on my towering stomach.

The few years we devoted to crafty activities like scrapbooking pictures of our kids, until we devolved back into everyone’s most comfortable mode: eat, talk,  drink, and laugh.

Maybe we’ll thumb through magazines or crossword puzzles or knitting baskets while we’re doing it. Maybe we’ll take a break to ski or hike or boat or swim or skate or hot tub or pedicure or massage, depending on that year’s particular accommodations and financial constraints. But always: eat, talk, drink, and laugh.

This summer’s getaway to an old friend’s cabin in northern Wisconsin was no exception. It started at noon on my Bifocal Friday, and was as lovely as any weekend could possibly be.

We marveled over the décor of this “Voyageur Village” model house from the
70s, which has been blessedly left intact by my friend’s family all these years.




We floated and swam from the pontoon boat for hours on end.



We enjoyed a greasy breakfast out at the local diner.



We picked just the tiniest fraction of the wild blackberries that
run rampant along every wooded meadow lane.



And we nearly peed ourselves playing Cards Against Humanity late into the evening.

(No pictures thankfully available).

In the end, we came home a little more physically tired than we’d been going into the weekend, but surely a lot more soul rested.

Friday #9: July 29, 2016

There’s been a particular theme running through our household all week. Nobody can find their phone charger. Everybody is quietly taking everyone else’s when they’re not looking. Somebody has a charger cord but somebody else took their brick. There’s a cord for an iPhone 6 but not the Android. Somebody needs an old-style iPad cord. Somebody’s ex left their charger and needs it back. The transformer strip in the kitchen isn’t working and things that were supposed to be charging aren’t. Some people aren’t responding to their messages because their phone is dead, and some people’s mother is getting really mad about it.

By Friday afternoon it had reached something of a low-grade fever pitch, with the added insult of the wi-fi blinking in and out and compromising everybody’s ability to get their particular tasks done – and most importantly (for me), compromising Drew’s ability to finish his work on the computer so we could get started on our afternoon adventure.

But finally about 3:00, start we did. Fortunately, we didn’t have to go far to get completely away from the pressure of all this new-fangled technology breathing down our necks. Or at least to an older version of it.

Just up the street a couple miles is the “Creative Enterprise Zone,” the western-most section of St. Paul's University Avenue corridor that’s remaking its industrial past into something of a steam-punk future. From the post-Civil War years until the mid-1900s, this was one of American’s largest industrial and commercial freight areas, with a convergence of rail terminals servicing nine separate freight lines. Today there’s growing local interest in transforming this heavy industrial heritage into a lively mixed-use residential and business district, with a focus on becoming a place where people make a living by their often intensely old-school creative capacities.

One of the very best examples of this was in action today at a place called Studio On Fire, which was hosting a Grand Opening and Steam Roller Print Fair.

We Love St. Paul

Celebrating their recent move to Saint Paul, Studio on Fire is a young company that specializes in the aging art of pressure-based printing. Letterpress, foil stamping, engraving, all done to the highest standards of the craft for agencies and clients around the world. 


The place is filled with the smell of ink and metal, and the shiny black and chrome beauty of a dozen old Heidelberg presses from the 40s and 50s. 
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But the title draw was the steamroller printing happening outside. Large hand-carved wooden letters were laid out on the ground and inked with a giant squeegee. The letters were covered with a white sheet, then a layer of carpet padding, then a sheet of plywood. Along comes the steamroller, and VOILA!
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The kids and young adults who participated in the process got a first-hand, larger-than-life lesson in how the printing process works at its most basic level. And it didn't require a USB port or charger.

Raymond Avenue Revival

Hungry for a late lunch, we wandered down the block to Raymond Avenue, where a cluster of sweet shops, restaurants, and local businesses perches on the far western edge of St. Paul.

 
Drew browses his latest favorite vinyl store, Barely Brothers Records, and I buy some new old table linens at the mid-century modern vintage shop Succotash. We settle on Foxy Falafel for lunch, which is cool and dimly quiet inside in contrast to the hot humid day outside.

 

After lunch we walk past the original Key’s family restaurant, past the hardware store that’s been there since 1920, past the neon-lit Sharrett’s Liquors, and up University Avenue a block to one of my favorite haunts, Twin Cities Reptile.

It’s the largest reptile specialty store in Minnesota, and I used to go there regularly to buy mice and later large rats for our Peruvian Rainbow Boa. It’s still fun to stop in occasionally and see the stock they have available. Today I had a nice chat with one of the employees, who was well acquainted with my friend Karl Hermann, a lifetime snake breeder and serious hobbyist who sadly passed away last year from cancer. It was sweet to reminisce about Karl while watching this hungry snake have his dinner, just as I’d done so many times with Karl himself.

And now for something completely different: Tarzan the Musical

Last but definitely not least, we capped off our day’s adventure by seeing my son Spencer perform in Tarzan the Musical with the Highland Park Community Theater. It was a beautiful night out at Como Pavilion, and he did a great job playing Tarzan’s father (briefly and tragically), plus rocked the ensemble with his interpretive plant dancing. 


Love that kid and his enjoyment of the performing arts. Even if he can’t keep his phone charged.

Friday #8: July 22, 2016

I’m tired

Not of summer, nor certainly of my Bifocal Fridays. Just bone tired the last few weeks. Partly it’s getting to the age where an easy, solid night’s sleep begins to elude me more regularly than occasionally. Partly it’s the houseful of teenagers to simultaneously worry about and work for and enjoy. Partly it’s a rich social life that seeds my calendar with so many joyful outings and adventures, some of them more joyful and more late-night than I can sustain indefinitely. Partly – and in no small part – it’s the deep troubles in the world that seem to be washing up in a relentless rising tide that is making everyone scared and angry and tired. And this week, too, it was partly the heat – in the high 90s for many days running – that was weighing me down and making me sleepy.

So when Friday afternoon rolled around, I came home at noon, took off my damn bifocals, and promptly slept for a solid three hours. I didn’t regret a minute of it.

Seeing nature

Of course, an afternoon nap is doubly sweet when you have something fun to look forward to. And I was looking forward to going to the Minneapolis Institute of Art with Drew later in the afternoon to see the much-touted exhibition, Seeing Nature: Landscape Masterworks from the Paul G. Allen Family Collection.

It was a beautiful show that lived up to MIA’s promise (and it will be be on view until September 18 if you want to see for yourself):

“Spanning 400 years, this spectacular exhibition illuminates the rich and varied approaches in European and American art to the landscape genre. Featuring 39 landscape paintings drawn from the private collection of Microsoft co-founder and philanthropist Paul G. Allen, including masterworks by Claude Monet, Gustav Klimt, David Hockney, Edward Hopper, and Georgia O’Keeffe. Lovers of of French Impressionism and Neo-Impressionism will find these styles well represented.”
It’s hard to imagine one person actually owning all those paintings, and I’m struck by the “one-percenter” aspect of that – and Paul Allen is probably even in a much smaller fraction of a percent than that. With a net worth of $15.8 billion, the most recent Forbes 400 Rich List  puts him at the 26th wealthiest person in the United States. Whether you envy or despise or admire somebody with that kind of money -- or Paul Allen himself, specifically -- you have to admit that the guy (and undoubtedly his curator) has great taste in art. And if you’re anything like me, you probably have to feel some sense of gratefulness and joy that someone is able and willing to acquire and preserve and most importantly share this treasure with other people.

Two of my favorites: Klimt's White Birches and Monet's En Paysage dans L'ile Saint-Martin



Speaking of sharing art with the world

I have to back up a minute. On our way to the MIA, we stopped downtown to see a personal friend who has shared an incredible body of work with the world, though his means are much more modest.

Drew first introduced me to Daniel Corrigan when we had him over for dinner and a game night. We’re all avid Scrabble players, and we now play Scrabble online together regularly, and see each other occasionally at one event or another.

Corrigan is the longtime staff photographer for First Avenue, the iconic Minneapolis rock club. For decades he shot pretty much every act to come through the doors, including legendary local bands like Babes in Toyland, Husker Du, the Replacements, and none other than Prince himself. He captured them all with a style that is equal parts gritty, raw, and tender. In recent years, Dan has been the subject of a Pitchfork documentary, as well as the Minnesota Original series. His work will be highlighted in the book Heydey: 35 Years of Minneapolis Music, coming out this November from Minnesota Historical Society Press.

In recent years, Dan has morphed into a role maintaining the First Avenue facility, that deliciously dingy place we all love so much. He is still frequently found behind the camera, though. On this particular Friday, it was his birthday, and he was giving his friends a gift. He had extended an invitation for any of us to come down to First Avenue and have our picture taken. 

We parked downtown at the old Dayton’s ramp – I can’t think of it any other way – and stopped in at Candy Land to buy him a box of mixed treats for his birthday. Braving the hot-town-summer-in-the-city pavement temps, we  crossed Hennepin to meet Dan at the Depot Tavern. The Depot is next door to the First Avenue/7th Street Entry clubs, and owned by same. In its previous incarnation, First Avenue was an art deco style Greyhound Bus station built in 1937 and called The Depot.

Dan’s photos line the wall of the Depot, and we found him at one of the back booths, quietly welcoming us in his sweet, low-key way. He led us through the back storage room and into the service garage where he had a stool and a fan set up against the concrete walls. I could imagine the hubub of all the bands that had pulled into that space to unload their gear over the years since First Avenue opened in 1970.

But in fact, I didn’t have to imagine very hard, because all of a sudden a musician friend of ours came running up to give me a hug. Olivia Quintanilla is a super-talented young cellist who is currently playing with Useful Jenkins, a contemporary acoustic band with a bluegrass foundation. Tonight Olivia just happened to be making her debut appearance playing the First Avenue main room. That’s totally a bucket-list thing for any Minneapolis musician, as she reiterated to me with an excitement that was tinged with a little exhaustion, coming to the night as she and the band were from a long series of road gigs. Although we couldn’t make it back to the show that evening, it was sweet to see her and I know they rocked the house.

And of course, Dan rocked the photos.



Wrapping up the afternoon with Nighthawks

After our shoot with Dan and the MIA show, Drew and I stopped at Nighthawks Diner & Bar at Nicollet and 37th for a happy hour nosh. Among the many great places along "Eat Street," Nighthawks is one of the best lately. I had a crazy good chicken and pork belly slider, and Drew had this super amazing foot-long hot dog.


Back home for the rest of the evening, I may have even gotten a good night’s sleep.



Friday #7: July 15, 2016

Blah, blah, blah

As I write, I’m feeling irritated about one of the small-but-cumulative irritations of being a parent. In this case, having to replace yet another lost cell phone. It was covered by insurance, so fortunately there’s only a $50 replacement fee, and fortunately that’s not a fortune to me, and  in any case his next month’s allowance will be diverted to pay for it AGAIN. But there’s the time and irritation involved in a) watching him look all over the house for it for two days; b) suggesting new places for him to remember to look; c) asking the same unanswerable question that everybody’s mom asks (“Where was the last place you saw it?”) and d) spending my lunch hour today logging onto our account and seeing what’s what with the device, putting it on hold, filing a claim to replace it, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and e) since he’s without a phone, there’s no way for me to reach him while I’m at work, and he needs to know that it turns out he doesn’t have practice tonight so he needs to do such-and-so differently in terms of his logistics for the day, getting from point A to point B, connecting with people who aren’t going to be where he expects them to be, asking other people to see if they can find him around the house or around the neighborhood, which it turns out nobody can, blah, blah, blah.

Which, it turns out, is pretty much the soundtrack to being a parent: blah, blah, blah. I find myself saying the same things over and over again, all the time, and many days it feels like nobody is listening.

I’m reminded of somebody else’s child therapist whose one greatest piece of advice for the parents of her clients is to hand them a little white slip of a card that says simply “Stop talking.”

I’m also remembering what I did for this week’s Bifocal Friday adventure, which was to spend some one-on-one time with this same kid of mine.

It was the day before our big housewarming party, so I had errands to run and a million things to do. Rather than focusing on speed and efficiency, I figured since it was my Bifocal Friday I would add some extra fun to the chores by inviting my 14 year-old along since he had the day free himself. I always enjoy his company, and he seems to still enjoy mine most days, especially if there’s not another better alternative immediately available. 

We listen to pop music in the car and he sings along and fills in any current gaps in my musical compendium. We get sidetracked with a bad construction detour and he listens to me swear without judging. He makes me laugh with his dry wit. We knock an errand off my list that’s something I’ve been meaning to do for several years (a final bit of name-change documentation from my divorce) because it happens to be in the neighborhood of another errand we’re running and I happen to have the right paperwork with me finally. We stop by a friend’s house to pick up a load of high-top tables and metal ice bins for party drinks. He helps me load up the car cheerfully. We get him fitted for a good pair of running shoes, because he’s recently added running to his personal fitness routine. He kisses me and thanks me as we leave the store. And we sit across the restaurant table from each other over pancakes and sausage and talk. About my work, about his sports, about his brother looking at colleges and it making him wonder how you could ever decide where to go, and how to get in, and most importantly how to know what you want to do with your life.

I did less of the talking and more of the listening. And none of it felt like blah, blah, blah.

Friday #6: July 8, 2016

I have always found it fascinating to get a peek deep in the weeds of other people’s hobbies and interests, even if I don’t share their particular obsession. Hopefully my readers here will feel something similar about this little side trip down the back lanes of one of my particular interests: Late nineteenth and early twentieth century children’s literature.

I’ve already mentioned the Melendy family books in my blog intro about The Saturdays. Then of course there’s Laura Ingalls Wilder, the Anne of Green Gables series, the All-of-a-Kind Family books, and certainly not least, the Betsy-Tacy series.

Author Maud Hart Lovelace wrote the nearly-autobiographical series about growing up in Mankato, Minnesota, which became “Deep Valley” in the eight books that spanned Betsy Ray’s first meeting with best friend Tacy Kelly (Bick Kennedy in real life) at age five, to Betsy’s move to Minneapolis and marriage to fellow-writer Joe Willard (Delos Lovelace) just as World War I was breaking out.

As a card-carrying member of the Betsy Tacy Society, I attended one of their annual conventions a few years back – totally geeky and totally fun! I have made several pilgrimages down to Mankato to see the restored tour-houses where Maud and Bick grew up, and to bask in the stories that they engendered about a lifelong friendship. There’s something immensely gratifying to me to see the hard evidence of the connection between a writer’s fictional work and its intersection with reality, the connection between past and present, and between where an artist works and the work that they created.

I was planning another trip down to “Deep Valley” this very weekend with my friend Barb, who had never been to Mankato but loved the Betsy-Tacy books. With our visit on the calendar for Saturday, I thought I’d take advantage of this week’s Bifocal Friday summer hours to visit the sites in Minneapolis that were featured in the last book of the series, Betsy’s Wedding.

For some reason I had never done this particular poking around in my own backyard before. But armed with good information from the Internet, I was able to track down all the real-life addresses for the places that were important in Maud and Betsy’s Minneapolis. I set out on my trek after a lovely lunch with Drew downtown at the Monte Carlo. The Monte opened in 1906, so it was definitely around in Betsy’s time, although her gentle-bred character somehow never mentions stopping there for a generous martini or their famous chicken wings as we often do.

Coming Home from Europe

The Minneapolis sites referenced in Betsy’s Wedding center around the East Lowry Hill neighborhood southwest of downtown known as the Wedge, a pie-shaped section of the city bounded by Lyndale, Hennepin and Lake Street. After Betsy finished high school, the Ray family moved from Deep Valley to 909 Hazel Street in Minneapolis.  In the real-life parallel, this was 905 West 25th Street, where the author’s parents had moved when she was a young adult.

I knew from my research that this particular house didn’t exist anymore, having been torn down in 1974 to create Mueller Park, but I still wanted to see the area. So I parked my car across the street from the park, which now occupies the entire block, and tried to picture the house being situated where the park’s wading pool now is.















The stucco bungalow that once stood here was built in 1911 by W.H. Evans, and Maud’s parents Tom and Stella Hart were its first owners. It was the middle of three houses on that corner, all of which were razed to create the tidy park and community center which stand there today. The Hart/Ray’s modest home was kitty-corner from the white Colonial-Revival Gluek mansion that was built in 1902 for John Gluek, son of the brewery founder, and which still stands in all its glory today at 2447 Bryant.

In Betsy’s Wedding, “909 Hazel” was described lovingly through Betsy’s eyes as she returns from a European grand tour:

"Talk was still gushing when the cab stopped. Betsy gazed out at the gray stucco bungalow, gay with striped awnings and flowers still bright in window boxes around a glassed-in porch. The porch was covered with reddening vines, which her father had transplanted from their home in Deep Valley. They swarmed into the wicker-and cretonne-furnished porch. Betsy rushed for the chaise longue where she used to love to lounge and read. She flung herself down. Jumping up, she spun through double doors into the living room, which had dark woodwork, leaded-glass panes, and a soft, green, oriental rug. At one end rose a small platform with a full-length mirror which reflected the stairway. At the other, the fireplace was flanked by bookcases, with niches above for photographs and the goldfish bowl. Her father’s leather chair stood near. Betsy ran to hug it.”

Standing there on the street, it was easy for me to imagine the house, even in the gaping absence of it. That bungalow style is so common to South Minneapolis architecture, and many existing homes fit this description today.

As I walked back to my car to look up the next address on my list, I got waylaid by two young girls – just a little older than when Betsy and Tacy first met – who were tacking this sign to a telephone pole. 



I couldn’t resist making a detour to the sloping front yard of their rambling old house, and indulging in the age-old tradition of an ice-cold glass of lemonade poured reverently and carefully from a pitcher, little hands gratefully collecting my two quarters and thanking me shyly for being their first customer.

Newlywed Nest

Betsy didn’t linger long at the family home after she returned from her adventures abroad in Betsy and the Great World. When she and Joe married early in Betsy’s Wedding, they set out to quickly find an apartment of their own:

“Betsy had budgeted Joe’s salary of $155 a month and she would not pay more than thirty dollars for rent. The search for an apartment at that figure took them all over Minneapolis, and Betsy thought often how beautiful it was – set on the storied Mississippi, glimmering with lakes. A chain of lakes ran actually through the city. Their shores were lined with homes, and even closer to the water lay the public boulevards, scattered with picnickers, fishermen, children with buckets, adventurous masters of sailboats and canoes. ’How lucky we are to live here!’ she exclaimed.”

I think the same thing every single day. Especially today as I make my pilgrim way through Betsy’s world. The “Bow Street Apartment” still exists today in almost exactly its same state as it did then, at 2400 Aldrich Avenue South, where the author Maud and her young husband Delos rented their first apartment, just west of Lyndale, a block from The Leaning Tower of Pizza. The multi-unit building was developed by local architect William Dunnell, who lived next door and built it on the site of his family’s adjoining tennis court. 


The setting and the building as described in Betsy’s Wedding:

“Bow Street was an old street. The elms were old and had turned yellow and were spattering the lawns with leaves. The houses were old, with spacious porches; and few of the barns had been made into garages. In front of one house, a horse and buggy was hitched. The apartment building was set on a large elmy lawn. It had an entrance porch with fat fluted pillars, and looked like a large, stone, private house except for sets of triple windows, bulging out.” Inside, they went “up a flight of carpeted stairs, to the left-hand back apartment. Betsy calculated quickly. ‘It will face south and east.’”

It’s easy to imagine both the fictional and the actual author cheerfully doing her light housekeeping chores in the tiny apartment, struggling with learning to cook for her new husband, and then settling down to write at the desk which looked out into the branches of a large yellowing elm tree.

First Home

“I think that Canoe Place is cute,” she said, “because it’s only a block long.”

As much as Betsy loved the Bow Street apartment, when her husband’s aunt came to live with them for a time, it was clear they needed a larger place. They purchased their first home just two blocks down the street from her parents’ house, at 1109 West 25th Street, and this house shows up in Betsy’s Wedding as 7 Canoe Place.

I’m not sure exactly where Maud came up with the idea of a one-block long street, because in reality West 25th Street runs for about five miles straight from the Mississippi River to Lake of the Isles. It may be that she was charmed by the tiny Levin Triangle park a few blocks away, across Hennepin and on the way to the lakes, which she would have likely walked regularly. Or perhaps the curving little block that is Kenwood Isles Drive between West 28th Street and Humboldt Avenue. In any case, it’s fun to speculate, and if the actual address was a little bit fictionalized, I found the house itself to match up pretty closely with how it was described when Joe and Betsy first came upon it, including the fact that when I saw it today it appeared to be empty:

“The brown-and-yellow cottage was set on a very small lot. It didn’t have a barn or a garage. At the back rose the back of a tall apartment building, but there were only houses on Canoe Place itself. There were maple trees along it, and the cottage had a neat lawn, cut in two by a walk leading to the porch.

The porch was big; it was screened. The porch door was locked and the house was plainly empty. They walked around to the left side and saw lofty leaded windows. ‘They’ll be over a built-in buffet. That must be the dining room. The kitchen’s behind, probably,’ Betsy decided. On the right side were two large windows and one small leaded one. They peeked in on what was certainly a living room. The leaded window rose above a turn of the stairs. They squinted at the upstairs windows. “Must be three bedrooms, Joe said.”


The price was $4,500 in 1917. It’s difficult to imagine getting a three-bedroom house in Uptown for even the inflation-adjusted price of $103,000 today. Or being able to make a down payment of just six percent, which is what Betsy and Joe’s three hundred dollars of available cash amounted to. But it is easy to imagine the joy with which this young married couple took possession of their first house, exploring the shiny, empty rooms, finding the kitchen to be “a good place to have a cup of coffee,” making inexpensive white ruffled curtains, settling their few precious books into the built-in bookcases, scouring second-hand stores for faded oriental rugs, and carefully choosing the few good pieces of new furniture that they could afford on a newspaperman’s budget.

Fictional Friends & Real-Life Matchmakers

For my next stop, it was time to travel a little further afield, down through the Uptown neighborhood and farther into south Minneapolis, to the stately house that had been the real-life home of Harry and Lillian Wakefield, fictionalized in Betsy’s Wedding as Bradford and Eleanor Hawthorne:

“The Willards were invited to the Hawthorne’s’ for dinner. Betsy wore the dark maroon silk, dressed her hair with care, manicured her nails, added bracelets and perfume. Joe change his tie twice, and they went out on the streetcar through a frigid December night. The Hawthorne house stood on a corner. An arc light gleamed over the snowy lawn showing tall oak trees and a tall house with so many narrow gables that it seemed to rush up into points.”

This perfectly describes the house as it stands today at 4648 Dupont Avenue South, an impressively large corner lot in south Minneapolis near the east side of Lake Harriet. Delos worked for Harry Wakefield, who was the city editor at the Minneapolis Tribune. Lillian owned a publicity bureau, and hired Maud to write for her, eventually introducing Maud to Delos at a dinner party hosted at their impressive home.


In a 1974 interview, Maud described the meeting. “Mrs. Wakefield was a great matchmaker, and she invited Delos, myself, and Helen [Maud’s sister] to dinner at her home – I think she invited Helen because she was young enough not to give any competition. Well, we had a lovely time. Delos and I were seated across from each other and we kept eyeing each other. I remember we walked Helen home and then Delos and I walked and walked, around the lakes, and talked and talked – it was practically dawn before we reached my home. After that, whenever possible, Mrs. Wakefield would send me on assignments out to Fort Snelling,” where Delos was stationed.

In the fictionalized version of Betsy’s Wedding, it was Joe who first worked for Mrs. Hawthorne at the publicity bureau, and later landed a job with her husband at the newspaper. But as the fictional Hawthornes did with Joe and Betsy, the real-life Wakefields embraced young Maud and Delos and they became lifelong friends. Maud even dedicated Betsy’s Wedding to Lillian Wakefield.

The Violent Study Club

The last literary stop of my day was a quick drive-by of 4941 Lyndale Avenue South, which was featured in the book as the home of Mr. and Mrs. Jimmy Cliff.  Joe and Betsy were among a rollicking group of newspaper writers that met semi-regularly for a lively, informal “salon” at the Cliffs. 


The club’s name was a rip on the name of a more prim and proper local women’s group at the time called the Violet Study Club. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any information about the real-life inspiration for these encounters that made their fictional way into Betsy’s Wedding, but since the house had been identified I had to see it for myself and check it off the list. I could easily imagine the group stomping the snow off their feet on a wintry evening and gathering inside the cozy house “to talk writing, read aloud, argue, and drink coffee while Jimmy Junior dashed up and down on his kiddy car.”


If you have made it all the way to the end of this post, thank you for your interest in my peculiar little outing this week. It set the stage perfectly for the trip the next day with Barb to revisit the rest of the Betsy-Tacy sites in Mankato, and to bask once again in this special place and time in literary history.